My chance to meet The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond, NYT best-selling author!

Last night, I had the wonderful opportunity to meet one of my internet "heroes" I've come to admire and adore (in a truly platonic sense, trust me!). Ree Drummond, author of The Pioneer Woman blog, stopped in Little Rock to do a book signing of her NYT #1 bestselling cookbook - The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl. The only downside was the BEST Arkansas had to offer a NYT bestselling author was a WALMART, of all places.

The book signing was scheduled to start at 6pm, but with Ariel having piano lessons until 6:30pm, the earliest I could get there was 7pm. I even pleaded with my wife to see if she could skip her piano lesson, just this once. "Nope," she told me, "she already missed a couple of weeks ago. You're just going to have to wait to meet your internet icon." And with Braden starting basketball practice, there was no way for Jen to get out there either. As the time started getting closer, I started thinking about what I would say to Ree when I met her. After all, here I was, getting to meet a true internet celebrity! Should I tell her how much I enjoy her recipes? Should I tell her what a big fan I am of her photography? What about homeschooling? My mind raced a million miles a minute as I searched for the perfect combination.

As Ariel and I drove out to the Walmart at the outskirts of town, I wondered how many people were going to be there. After all, this IS Arkansas. How many fans in Little Rock could she really have? "Maybe the line will be thinned out by the time we get there," I mused to myself. When we got there, I was in shock. There was a line. A OMGXOBXHUEG line. In fact, the line started at the front of the store, ran down the middle aisle all the way to the back of the store as far as I could see. Any hope for a quick meet, greet, and sign was dashed.

I think the song "Women" from Def Leppard summed it up best:

"Women! Women! Lots of pretty women..."
"Men! Men! They sure feel out of place among them!"

Okay, so I took some liberties with the lyrics but still. Yeah, I felt a bit out of place being one of the few men in line. Ok, I felt QUITE a bit out of place being one of the few UNACCOMPANIED men in line. There were a few men, but most were there with their significant others. While I on the other hand, was there for myself. Yep, I can proudly say that I fall firmly in category #3 from Ree's list: I was there of my own accord.

Ariel and I made our way to the back of the line which turned the corner and then went down another couple of aisles. By the time the line reached Ree from where we started, I had plenty of time to peruse DVDs (nearly the entire $5 rack), crappy videogames, towels, men's clothes, and jewelry. In fact, about 2 hrs and 50 minutes worth of time.

I was soon joined by 3 beautiful, charming women in line behind me that I struck up a conversation with. One of them had a beautiful, gorgeous infant baby girl. Like myself, they each had a handful of kids, were homeschoolers, and obviously fans of PW. My only regret was not getting their names, so if you're reading this let me know! They asked me if I was there for my wife or if I was there for myself. I proudly admitted that I was there for myself and that I fell firmly in category #3. If there was any doubt that I actually read PW's blog, that statement right there quashed it completely. They were impressed, I could tell. They were even more impressed that I had tried out several of her recipes. Yes, ladies, I cook, I photograph, and I blog (well, used to anyway).

At one point, I said loudly, "I would guess we would have at least 2 hrs to wait until we reached PW." Shortly after that, a couple of women in front of me left altogether. I joked even more loudly, "I mean, I think it's going to take at least 3 hrs..." Sadly, unknown to me at that time, that prediction would be more accurate.

The women behind commented on how they had to make themselves presentable before coming out to meet Ree. After all, they didn't want her to think they were a bunch of frumpy housewives. I laughed. Women. But then again, the thought did cross MY mind as well with regard to what I was wearing. Blue fleece pullover or plaid short-sleeved checkered shirt? I decided to go with the outdoor, rugged look and kept my pullover on. Not that I was trying to compete against Marlboro Man. Ok, maybe I was. Just a little.

The line continued to shuffle forward slowly and I continued to joke around with my neighbors. You had to do SOMETHING to pass the time. In a Walmart, no less. Poor Ariel - I do have to give props to her for enduring the entire evening with me. I think she saw just about everything she wanted (and then some) at Walmart that night. It wasn't until she started get stalked by this creepy older gentleman did she come and join me in line. The ladies behind commented that he had been there the entire time, walking the aisles. CREEPY.

At one point, shortly after we turned the first corner, someone walked by and said that Marlboro Man was there and was signing her book as well. As soon as she said that, in perfect sync, every single pair of female eyes turned towards the front of the store and necks were craned searching for his manly goodness. I do believe I spied more than a few ladies starting to drool. Ha! All I could think was what NOT to say to Ree that would get me pummeled by her cowboy. Yeah, that would not be good, and downright embarrassing surrounded by all those women.

As we got closer and closer, we started seeing these cute, little post-it notes that someone ahead of us had left. One said, "life is short, this line is long." Another said, "photography moment ahead" (referring to Marlboro Man). Those made us all chuckle as we waited for the next note to come into eyeshot.

I noticed a couple of women ahead of start pruning and brushing their hair as they waited to meet Marlboro Man. As if they had any chance...

Then again, one of my newfound friends had taken her boots off (because they made her feet hurt), but was putting them back on as we approached Marlboro Man. I told her he probably wouldn't even notice she was shoeless. She replied, "but the boots make me taller!" I guess every little bit helps. I considered dropping to the ground and doing several dozen push-ups and puffing out my chest, but even on my best day, there was no way I was going to come close to matching up with MM. Working in an office all day in front of a computer doesn't go very far in developing a manly musculature that working on a ranch does.

I eventually made my way up to Marlboro Man and handed him my book. I was at a loss for words. After all, what does one man (with a penchant for photography, blogging and cooking) say to one who is into none of those things? I ended up asking him if he was looking forward to going home and spending several days with his family. I thanked him for accompanying her and coming out to Little Rock to see us. Short, sweet, to the point. Pretty typical of any conversation between men that doesn't involve sports, guns, women, or beer.

In no time, we finally turned the final corner and Ree was just a few feet away! I readied my camera and instructed Ariel on what kind of shots I wanted. Everything I wanted to say to her became all swirled up in my excitement. I knew I wanted to say something about taking pictures of homeschooling fudge or something. I started to feel like Koothrappali from the TV show "The Big Bang Theory" who becomes mute around beautiful women.

Eventually, it was my turn. I turned Ariel loose and handled my book to Ree. I smiled. She smiled back. I blurted out something about how I was one of her #3 category guys. She laughed. I ended up telling her I was a huge fan and that we were also a homeschooling family. She asked me how many kids I had and I told her I had 3 with one of the way in March. She told me congratulations and finished signing my book, all the while while MM looked on from the side. I'm sure he was there to make sure I wasn't going to attempt to make any sort of advances. As she reached for the next book, I asked timidly if she would mind very much if I had a photo taken with her. "Not at all," she replied. I walked slowly behind the table and kneeled down next to her, being careful not to appear to be some crazed, obsessed, stalker type. Ariel took a photo while MM snapped several next to her. There was an awkward pause as I continued posing hoping Ariel would take a few more. Nothing. The awkward pause dragged into even more ultimate awkwardness. Okay, time to go. I thanked Ree one last time and bid her good luck. It was only way later did I realize I didn't even tell her my name! I mean, I know it was on the note and all, but still....btw, Ree, my name is Cliff!

It was truly a special moment, and I'll think of it every time I crack open her cookbook. As a semi-blogger, I'm always impressed by those who manage to make it "big" in the blogging world. She definitely deserves all the success she has worked for. I hope it won't be the last time I get to meet her! Thanks again Ree, for coming here. Your Arkansas fans sure appreciate it!